You Best Profile Picture Is Your Most Important Online Dating Asset
If You Are Searching Online For A Guy, You Have Probably Experienced…
First, you have had problems attracting the men you want. You are finding that most men that contact you are drips. And, to your dismay, a lot men lie about their relationship status, wealth, power, and position. In general, dating apps are just a pain. Unfortunately, they are the only game in town in an age of pandemic.
The solution is to be more strategic. Your goal is to find, meet, and date good men. They are out there, but you have to be smart about how you attract and engage them.
The good news is that very few women are strategic. You won't face much competition because most women don't know how to present themselves or are too lazy to make themselves highly attractive.
Good Dating Profile Pictures Tell Your Story
If you ever read Malcom Gladwell's book Blink, you might remember "thin slicing." Thin-slicing is a term used in psychology and philosophy to describe the ability to find patterns in events based only on "thin slices", or narrow windows, of experience. What this means is that guys (and gals) will look at a profile picture for a few seconds and make an instant judgment. Yes or No.
Why does he thin slice? Because there are thousands of profiles that might meet a guy's initial search criteria. He doesn't have all day to examine each profile carefully. He will only react to the best profile pictures that evoke a positive emotion in his unconscious. His decision process is fast, effortless, emotional, and automatic.
You have two seconds or less to create a positive emotion in a man's brain. Your best profile picture is the only tool you have to achieve that objective.
You Need To Nail The Trifecta: Attractive, Trustworthy And Competent
Your best profile picture has to convey three attributes:
You are physically attractive.
You are trustworthy.
You are competent.
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Beauty has been a thin slice factor for millions of years. Human brains are attracted to beautiful faces because beauty implies health, fertility, and fitness for bearing children.
Here's the thing about beauty: It is created by you. You might be born with natural beauty, but you don't have to be. Just take a look at the supermarket tabloids that display photos of celebrities in their normal lives. The photos are usually as unflattering as the photo editors can make them.
You can transform your ordinary face into beauty that will attract men. That's what you must do with your best profile picture. Learn how to use make-up, hair styling, and clothing to make yourself beautiful. You've got all the pieces. You simply need to put them together into a gorgeous package.
Trustworthiness is just as important as beauty. At a deep level, men want a partner that will not run out on them, will stand by them, and can back them up. A deep trusting relationship is highly desirable. The thin slice decides whether you are trustworthy or not instantly. Read further to learn how to look trustworthy.
Competency is the third part of the best profile picture trifecta. High quality men are by definition competent. They seek competent, high quality women (by definition, you). You are not going to attract a professional male (say, a lawyer or physician), by looking sloppy, confused, or goofy.
As you think strategically about your best profile picture remember the trifecta: attractive, trustworthy, and competent.
Your Best Profile Picture Tells A Story About You
That thin slice is creating a story about you. Literally, in a second, your best profile picture sets up a beginning, a middle and an end. A man will stop on your profile picture when the story you tell creates intrigue, curiosity, and a desire to know more about who you are. What story do you want to tell with your best profile picture?
Pro tip: Write out your story in a one paragraph elevator pitch. Think about what elements of your photo will tell that story. What does your mouth say? The angle of your head? Your hair? Your eyes? Your make-up? Your clothes? The background?
How to Create Your Best Dating Profile Picture
With the foundational ideas out of the way, let's get down to details. Here's a checklist for you:
Get a good night’s sleep before you take your pictures.
Do your nails. Red or pastel polish is best. No gaudiness, sprinkles, or designs. No overly long nails. No dark nails.
Wear clothes that fit your body and make you feel good. (When you layer on clothes to cover your body it only makes you look larger than you are.)
Wear red, not wild prints.
Apply your makeup in natural light.
Wear relatively light lipstick, shine is good.
Wear your hair up.
Smile and show your teeth.
The dating site Hinge did a study on the best profile pictures. Here's what the study found:
Your Eyes Are the Secret to Your Best Profile Picture
Your eyes will convey trustworthiness, competence, and allure more than any other part of your face. Practice your eye expressions in the mirror.
For your best profile picture, look away from the camera, not straight into the camera.
Notice how this photo could be improved by looking to the left slightly.
Here's a slight look away that is much better.
Aim for the squinch – 80% deer-in-the-headlights, 20% squint – makes you look more cool and confident. You will need to practice this in the mirror to get it right.
Your Face Is The Center of Your Best Profile Picture
Accentuate Your Jawline
Look at the difference in this photo. The left side is a normal pose. The right side is with her forehead slightly down and jaw forward. This is a trick used by all celebrities and politicians when they are photographed or videoed. Getting good jaw definition makes you look competent.
Researchers have found that people show a strong preference for photos showing the left side of someone’s face rather than the right. Turn your face slightly so that your left side is showing more than your right. Notice that to the viewer, it's opposite. The face looks like the right side is slightly more dominant.
Take up a lot of space in the frame. Since your face is the thin slice determinant in your best profile picture, it should fill up most of the frame. Make sure your entire face is in the frame.
Here are mistakes. Notice that the faces are not fully in the frame.
You should have other photos that show your entire body and ¾'s body.
Think about your background
Your background tells your story too. Your ideal background will be not create more interest than your fact. Think about the stories implicit in these backgrounds:
A weathered brick wall
A weathered wood fence
A black formal backdrop
Guys will imagine themselves with you in whatever setting you choose for a backdrop. Their thin slicing brain will either like that setting or not like it—in a nanosecond.
Lighting Is Critical-Use Natural Light As Much As Possible
Your goal is to have no shadows on your face. Use as much natural light as possible. Shoot at dawn or dusk when the natural light is diffused and soft, but not so dark as to create shadows. Do not use a flash unless you have professional help.
Your best profile picture must have a perfect exposure. If you are underexposed, you will be dark. If you are overexposed, you will be too light. Both tell a story of incompetence.
Under-Exposed and Too Dark
Over-Exposed and Too Light
Don't Make These Common, Deadly Mistakes With Your Best Dating Profile Pictures
You will see thousands of women making these mistakes.
Do Not Post selfies.
Do Not Post glamor-type shots or photos that are too suggestive or revealing.
Do Not Wear too much makeup.
Do Not Wear dark, mat lipstick.
Do Not Not wear makeup.
And especially, Do Not Wear sunglasses or a hat that covers your face
No dark glasses or hats
Finally, Test, Test, and Test
We use different parts of our brain when we’re looking at pictures of ourselves vs. pictures of other people. That means, when we look at a photo of ourselves, we’re literally not seeing the same thing that other people are seeing.
The truth is, we cannot see ourselves objectively. So when we see a picture of ourselves, the negative possibilities elude us.
On the other hand, someone on OkCupid — with absolutely no prior information to go off of — may be immediately put off by an expression that looks inauthentic to them.
Upload your best profile pictures to photofeeler.com. It's an artificial intelligence application that will grade your photo with real viewers and algorithms. You want your photo to score in the 95th percentile or higher for social likeability.
Have others select your best photos. You will have a hard time being objective. Get some honest evaluations from people who will tell you the truth.
Final Thoughts About Your Best Profile Picture
Being strategic about how you present yourself will take some time and effort. However, a couple of cool things will happen if you achieve that perfect trifecta of appearance, trustworthiness, and competence. The drips and losers will stay away from you. They are intimidated by confident, poised, beautiful women. You may attract some liars and narcissists, which you have to expect. And, you will start attracting quality men looking for a quality woman like you.